What Matters Most
This is my ‘What Matters Most’ essay for admission to Stanford Business School back in 2002 - unedited. I’m almost certain that they put a word limit on future essays because of my submission, but hey, it got the job done. I wanted to share something personal about the myself almost 20 years ago so that you can understand my journey. Hopefully some part of it helps someone out there. I look forward to writing my ‘What Matter Most’ 20 year update in 2022.
What matters most to you, and why? – Edward D. Bailey
Excuses, excuses
Build monuments of nothingness
And bridges to nowhere
Those who use them
Seldom accomplish anything
Using BLISS with PRIDE
Will help me to create the MAPS
For my journey to success
What matters most to me is leaving behind a legacy that will endure long after I leave this earth. The preceding statement is my mission statement that helps to keep me focused on what is important to me. The maps that guide me on my life’s journey are four attributes that allow me to be at my best. Those attributes are mental focus, attitude, physical presence, and spiritual peace. Within these attributes are ten values that in my mind exemplify the four attributes. Those values are brotherhood, loyalty, integrity, scholarship, service, perseverance, respect, integrity, devotion, and excellence (Bliss and Pride). As I continue with this story of what matters most to me, I will share a series of experiences that helped me to develop this mission statement and that will link the values to the attributes in a meaningful way.
But before sharing how each value and attribute fits into the framework of my mission statement, I should explain the framework itself. A mentor in my fraternity passed on the excuses poem to me as a reminder to put forth my best effort in everything that I do. I’m not sure exactly who originally penned the statement, but reciting this statement in my head during the tough moments in my life always seems to give me the energy necessary to keep moving forward. It’s purpose in the mission statement is to remind me that the journey takes effort and that I should allow nothing to get in the way of my journey.
B.L.I.S.S. (Brotherhood, Loyalty, Integrity, Scholarship, and Service) is actually the defining acronym of my fraternity, Rho Pi Alpha. I have always believed that these five values are important pillars in leading a fulfilling existence. Any time I greet my brothers by saying “bliss”, I am reminded of where I have been, where I am going, and what is important. Therefore, no mission statement of mine would be complete without it’s incorporation.
P.R.I.D.E. (Perseverance, Respect, Intelligence, Devotion, and Excellence) came from an article that I wrote to some students in my residence hall at the end of my second semester. The students referenced were African-American students in the dorm who were causing a lot of trouble and in my opinion were damaging the reputation of students throughout the campus. The values above were values that I felt should be exhibited more by these students in their lives and would be beneficial to all concerned. This letter somehow made it’s way around campus and became a rallying point for African-Americans all over campus to join together and support one another. PRIDE serves as a reminder of what one person with one voice can do to inspire many.
As I was trying to decide what to do with my life after school (and as I was completing my mission statement), I realized that BLISS and PRIDE needed something to tie things together. As I thought about the person that I wanted to become, four attributes came to mind: mental focus, attitude, physical presence, and spiritual peace. I figured that if I could exhibit those four qualities, I would be successful no matter what I decided to do. It was coincidental that those four attributes in acronym form comprised M.A.P.S. With MAPS came the governing framework of the mission statement and the inspiration for all the things I am working towards.
Now that you are armed with the facts behind how my mission statement came to exist, it would be appropriate to focus on what MAPS, BLISS, and PRIDE, have meant and continue to mean to me as I progress and develop as a person. In order to do so, I will share anecdotes and stories from various stages in my life that exemplify the meaning of each of the attributes and values to me.
Mental focus for me is about building a consistent framework of intellectual thought. The two values that embody mental focus in my opinion are scholarship and intelligence. Scholarship, or the pursuit and appreciation of learning in its purest form, is all about continuous development and expansion as a person. Intelligence, or the efficient and effective processing of information, is about taking knowledge learned from various sources and using it to change and improve my life and the lives of everyone I associate with. When used together, scholarship and intelligence create the mental focus that allows me to accomplish my goals.
An experience that explains what scholarship means to me is my new current hobby, bowling. I consider myself an athlete, having played baseball and football in high school. I was also a pretty good basketball player, though I never played organized ball. Bowling has always been one sport that I was never very good at, but wanted to learn more about. I would watch bowlers on TV throw a curved shot, and I would marvel at how they continued to throw strikes. I wanted to learn how, but somehow never got around to it. Three months ago, I decided I was going to put in the effort to be a good bowler. So I invested $200 in equipment and bought two books so I could learn the techniques of the game. I also allocated an hour a week to practice. At first, I was not very good. I could not make my shot curve, and my average was about 90. But I continued to study the game and watch other bowlers. I eventually figured out how to hook the ball (after a month of trying), but I could not control the ball. My average cracked 100, but my goal was 150. Finally, after another month of reading books, practicing twice a week, and taking detailed notes to analyze my game, I figured out what was holding me back. I realized that I did not have a target when I was rolling the ball, and thus I had no idea where the ball would go. After that realization (two weeks ago), I bowled my highest game ever (189) and have bowled consistently over 130. Being passionate about learning the right way helped me to achieve this.
An experience that explains what intelligence means to me happened when I was about nine. My father and his friends would have this video game tournament every Saturday at our house. The best player of the bunch was Dave, and no one could beat him at this game, not even my father. One lesson that my dad taught me early on was to collect data with every life experience, because you never know when you will need it. With this baseball game, I took this to an extreme. As I learned to play, I took statistics in a little notebook on everything from batting averages to controller maneuvers for throwing pitches. After months of data collection, I got to the point where I could pitch without looking at the screen, because I had every pitch’s movement perfected. One Saturday during the weekly tournament, Dave bet my dad and his six friends $100 that he could beat anyone in the room. I whispered in my dad’s ear that I that I had the game figured out and that I could beat Dave. My dad, always a believer in my abilities, gave me the opportunity. So Dave and I played, and through seven innings, the score was tied at zero. In the eighth inning, Dave finally made a mistake, and I hit a homerun for a 1-0 lead. The time had come to use my knowledge to get the final three outs and win the game. So I closed my eyes and concentrated on the controller movements I had spent months perfecting. Nine pitches later, I had struck out all three batters and had won the game. The analysis I did on that baseball game prepared me to perform when it mattered most. Though this may seem unimportant, it is a story that my dad still tells to my friends to this day, a story of how intelligence can help you to achieve anything.
Attitude for me means exhibiting qualities and attributes that positively impact life. The values that come to mind when creating my attitude are loyalty, integrity, and perseverance. Loyalty, or commitment to respecting those who value one unequivocally, to me is a key to living a full life because success is worthless without being able to share it with those who have supported you. Integrity to me means adhering to standards that represent the values one holds. Setting a standard for myself as a person and striving to reach that standard is a worthy pursuit, for it bring extra satisfaction to my achievements in knowing that they were accomplished the right way. Perseverance is all about navigating through the obstacles that obstruct one’s life mission. These values help me to continue to manifest a positive attitude that hopefully makes the world just a little better.
Loyalty can be shown in many ways and is sometimes a painful process. My current relationship with my girlfriend exemplifies how loyalty helps better me as a person. We have known each other for six years and began dating shortly after my high school graduation. We had a great relationship, but an even stronger friendship. We were always friends first. When she felt that things were getting too serious after our freshman year in college, I was supportive, even though I hated the fact that we were breaking up. I continued to be there for her as she struggled to find her purpose in life, and she continued to support me as obstacles presented themselves in my college career. As senior year approached, we both had done well academically and were happy, though romantically linked with other people. In January of my senior year, we decided that we should be back together. I believe that it was our mutual commitment to be loyal to our friendship that allowed this to be possible. We each were working toward making sure the other person was as happy as possible, even though sometimes it was painful. But I have always believed that loyalty pays off in the end. It definitely did in this case.
Integrity can force you to make difficult, yet valuable decisions that can change your life. A memory from my high school days clearly shows that. My senior year was full of decisions, ranging from what activities to participate in to what college to go to. I chose to participate in three main activities: Academic Decathlon, National Honor Society, and the football team. National Honor Society only sponsored one or two events a semester, so there was no trouble fitting that into my schedule. Academic Decathlon and playing football each took up three hours per day six days a week. I thought that I could do both, especially since football season only lasted until November. But the time and energy necessary to do both was impossible to generate consistently. By the fourth week of school, I was in danger of losing my starting linebacker spot and losing my slot to compete in the competition. I had high expectations for both activities. We were pursing a national title for Academic Decathlon and a city title for football. Both teams need me to step up and lead the way. In the middle of October, I realized that I would have to choose. I simply could not perform to my standards in both areas. After some soul searching, I decided that the pursuit of the national title with the Academic Decathlon team was a more worthy pursuit, so I left the football team, even though I was an all city player. With extra time to devote to my studies, our team came in third place nationally, our second highest finish ever. I could have found a way to struggle through both activities for another month, but I would have done myself and more importantly, done my teams a disservice by doing so. My focus on integrity helped me to realize that and to do the right thing, which was to make a choice and commit fully to one group. The results speak for themselves.
Perseverance is a quality that without which some of the more valuable events in life would not take place. The process through which I joined McKinsey is an example of this. I learned the hard way that case study interviews were much different than behavioral interviews. In my first round of interviewing, I did two cases, and while I eventually got to the right answer, my problem solving process was not so impressive to the interviewers. Fortunately, other skills allowed me to advance to the second round, but without quick adjustments, my opportunity to work at the firm would be gone. The news that I didn’t do well on the cases came as a shock, since I thought that I solved the problem and that was what was important. It was the first interview that I had not done well on in a long time. But I was sure that McKinsey was the right place for me, so I had to put in the work to get there. I worked with an associate from Detroit to practice my case interviewing skills. The first two practice sessions went poorly and my confidence was tumbling. At one point, I thought that maybe I was not smart enough. But I got over my doubts and prepared for second round interviewing in Chicago anyway. Then, one day before the interview, I lost my wallet. That meant I could not get on a plane, since I did not have any identification. At first, I thought that this was a sign that I didn’t belong at McKinsey. Then my problem solving side took over and I got a train ticket to Chicago. I decided I was going to be myself and believe in myself and let the results take care of themselves. I had a great second round, acing both the cases. Eventually, I received an offer to join the firm. All of my efforts had paid off. The key to surviving the experience was putting forth the effort to get around the obstacles, even when they seemed overwhelming. It is amazing how far a little extra effort can go in helping to accomplish something.
Physical presence to me is the positive tangible presentation of self. The three values that help me to focus on creating a physical presence are service, respect, and excellence. Service to me is time and energy spent unselfishly improving one’s environment. Respect is the acceptance and appreciation of a person’s total being. Excellence is the results associated with consistently putting forth one’s best effort. Together, these values help create a physical presence that is impactful.
One way that I try to serve is by directing the Get Set! program. The Get Set! Program is a program sponsored by McKinsey that provides academic and cultural enrichment for 20 students in 6th, 7th and 8th grade at a poorly performing middle school in the Chicago projects. Each grade of students has a teacher that works with them every Saturday for the three-year program, helping them to improve their reading, writing, and arithmetic skills. The program also sponsors field trips to various destinations such as the Art Institute and the Museum of Science and Industry. I have two roles in the program. One role is to handle the weekly operation of the program, which entails coordinating transportation for the students and monitoring attendance and performance. My other role is to serve as a mentor for the 8th grade class. Thus far, I have designed a program to help them get into top high schools in the Chicago area. I work with the students to fill out the applications, visit open houses for schools they are interested in, and prepare for the high school entrance exams. Watching these kids mature and gain skills is a pleasure for me, and keeps me focused on the impact I can have in the future by helping kids to get a better education. Service to my community has always been a part of my life, and will continue to be a part, because I realize that one person can make a difference.
Respect brings opportunities that one would normally overlook. My relationship with my best friend is an example of how respect allows beautiful relationships to manifest. Anyone who knows Terrance and I is aware of two things: we are the best of friends and we could not be more different. We met my first day on campus at Michigan State and immediately did not click. I thought he was uncivilized and wouldn’t last a semester. He thought I was arrogant and didn’t care about anyone but myself. In any imaginable conversation we were always on opposite ends of the spectrum. Then one day, I decided that I would listen to what he had to say. What I learned is that we have a lot in common in terms of wanting to make a difference educating people and a love for sports. With this as a common base, we got involved in student government and accomplished some great things. We started with seminars in the residence halls to teach students how to study effectively. We eventually branched out and began to bring speakers to campus to discuss social issues. Our crowning achievement was bringing Maulana Karenga, the founder of Kwanzaa to Michigan State. We faced great opposition from many angles, but we learned to use our differences and utilized each of our strengths to make this event happen. Terrance has the gift of gab and I have the gift of leadership. He convinced people to donate money and time while I kept the project on pace. We definitely have different methods to getting things done, but in the end, because we respect each other, we always end up successful. I could not have a better friend than Terrance. The only reason that we had the opportunity to get close is that I gave his ideas and perspectives a chance. Showing him that respect led to a beautiful friendship that will last a lifetime
Excellence is results oriented. The proof is tangible, in most cases. One of the achievement that I am most proud of happened my senior year in high school. This was the year I finally joined my school’s Academic Decathlon team. The Academic Decathlon is the United States most prestigious academic competition. Teams of six students from around the country compete in ten academic competitions including math, science, literature, art, music, essay, oral speech, and interviewing. My high school team has been ranked in the top 10 nationally for the last eighteen years and has won our state title in each of those years (a streak unmatched nationally). We worked as a team every day of the week except Sunday for a year in preparation for this competition. We tutored each other to sure up any individual weaknesses that our team had. It took outstanding efforts from all of us to win the thirteenth consecutive state title for our school and to place third nationally. I placed fourth or fifth individually in eight of the ten competitions nationally, including a fourth place overall finish. Preparing for this competition was the hardest work I’ve ever had to do (until that point), but the results speak for themselves. Preparation bred excellence in this situation, just as it usually does.
Spiritual peace is the intangible network, both internal and external, that creates calmness and serenity. Brotherhood and devotion are the two values that help me to achieve this (sometimes). The personal associations that provide balance and perspective to life represent brotherhood. Devotion is all about passionately pursuing the things that one holds as important and sacred. Being committed to the important people and things in my life help me to create calmness within myself when things get tough.
I learned brotherhood from my experience with my fraternity, Rho Pi Alpha. During the process of joining a fraternity, I learned how important it is to give of yourself to support those who are important. I joined Rho Pi Alpha with six other guys, only one of which I knew before the ten week pledging process began. Over the course of the ten weeks, my brothers fed me chicken soup when I was sick, helped me when I needed support with campus projects, supported me during my campaign to become President of the residence halls association, and kept me smiling with 2 am conversations at Denny’s. During what I would consider my worst semester ever, these six guys helped me to have many positive memories. During our team building activities, I learned to depend on them for help. I learned that I did not have to fight the world all by myself, which allowed me to relax and enjoy the journey. I know that no matter what, if any of those guys needed anything, I would be there and vice versa. I think that the pledging process was a turning point for me in terms of having a balanced life. With the support provided by brotherhood, I realized that anything is possible.
One of the areas I am most passionate about is sports, especially football. My experience coaching a high school football team allowed me to pursue this passion in a worthwhile way. I am devoted to sports and to making a difference in the lives of young people. Coaching football gave me the opportunity to do both. My brother was a freshman at Walter Payton high school and for the first month, I would watch him practice with 25 others guys. The problem that I saw was that there were only two coaches, so the kids weren’t learning as much as they could have. Since I did not start my job at McKinsey for another three months, I decided to offer to help the team. I started by working with the linebackers and tight ends, the two positions that I played in high school. Eventually I was given responsibility for the special teams, a critical aspect of a football team that normally doesn’t get a lot of attention. The team and I had a great time together, and the team was winning. Once the school year got started, some players started losing eligibility because of grades. That’s when I decided that I would work with some of the players after practice on trouble areas. That way, the kids can learn the importance of academics and still get to play on the team. We were able to keep all but two players eligible, and the team had an undefeated season. My passion for sports and helping people allowed me to have an impact on this program (this was the football team’s first year in existence).
Hopefully sharing some of these experiences helps you to fully understand the person that I have been, the person that I am, and the person that I want to be. This mission statement helps me to focus and continue to invest the energy in bettering myself. In the process, I hope to give back some of what I learn on this journey to better the world in which I live. I firmly believe that each person alive is a part of a special club, the human race. Each person has an obligation to make the most of his or her life. What matters most to me is fulfilling that obligation.
Using Brotherhood,
Loyalty,
Integrity,
Scholarship, and
Service
With Perseverance,
Respect,
Intelligence,
Devotion, and
Excellence
Will help me create the
Mental Focus,
Attitude,
Physical Presence, and
Spiritual Peace
For my journey toward success